Mid-Sabbatical Reflections (Part 1)

We are just over halfway through our sabbatical.  We decided to take a full year off of work and soon I will start working 10 hours a week for my employer (thanks to the wonders of technology, internet connections, and the ability to VPN into a virtual desktop in Minnesota).  In some ways the time has gone quickly and in others it's dragged on.

I suppose I will miss having scenery like this be a regular daily experience.

I hit my low point at Easter, about 8 months in.  I missed home so much I wasn't sure I could make it the whole time without going back home (as was our going in plan).  I started looking at how much it cost to fly home and was quickly jolted to reality with the high cost of airline tickets.  There wasn't enough money for our whole family to make the trip home, my Delta frequent flier miles would only cover two tickets and anyway, the available dates didn't work for us.  (To his credit, my husband said that if I needed to go, I could...but we really could only afford for me to go and I didn't think the relatives would be as happy to see me without the kids.)  So I pushed through and stayed, and after a week or so of moping, I didn't feel so sad.  Now I feel fine about staying here through the end.

A large part of that is the friendships that have started to deepen here.  I am participating in a weekly bible study with some other women that has been great both from the study part (the beatitudes from Jesus' Sermon on the Mount- those "blessed are the...." statements) and just getting to hang out and talk with other expat moms.  Two are married to Peruvians and have a better understanding of the culture than I do and the other is from Australia and has been living in Latin America for years.  From this I have learned it's important not to underestimate the importance of a support structure.  Dave worked for Arrive Ministries (formerly World Relief Minnesota) for 5 years running an English language school for Somali refugees.  I'm hoping that we can help people who are coming to the US as refugees when we get home (because I understand how crucial that kind of support can be- and I would think even more important for people who come without the resources we have and who don't have the option of returning home).

Someone asked what things (besides friends and family) I miss from the US and what I think I might miss most from Peru.  Since family and friends make up the bulk of what I miss, the things I am listing below might seem inconsequential, but they are the things I most miss now and what I think I will miss from Peru when we go back home.

Top Things I miss from the United States (in no particular order):

• Dairy products.  I really, really, really miss cheese, ice cream, and milk.  It's possible to buy all of those things here, but the common cheese (queso fresco) is different (and any cheese besides queso fresco is fairly expensive).  I am not really a fan of queso fresco (and I accidentally stumbled upon the fact that it's illegal to sell in at least some states because it's made with unpasteurized milk).  I have found a few restaurants that sell delicious ice cream, but you can't buy that kind of ice cream in grocery stores for love or money.  The stuff they sell there is basically sub par ice milk with vegetable fat and little to no dairy.  I have been able to make homemade ice cream a couple of times but that doesn't compare to the ease of picking up a few packages of Breyer's and throwing them in the freezer for when the ice cream craving hits.  We currently pasteurize our cow milk (having tired of UHT milk) but that comes complete with its own challenges, like supply not being even and the fact that it sours much faster than storebought milk in the states (you have maybe 4-5 days tops, meaning we have to get and pasteurize milk twice a week.  [Shout out to my husband who takes on this task and does a great job with milk management].  I use up the sour milk with our weekly pancake breakfast on Sunday mornings.
• Mexican style food.  Because, cheese (see above) and tortillas (very hard to find here and the ones you can buy are mostly gross).  We did find a place to buy 8 inch corn tortillas....for 40 cents each.  And we got some.  That's how desperate we are.  I don't really want to make them and am looking forward to coming back home where it will be easy to purchase packages of corn tortillas.  
• Church services in English.  We have gone to several different services in Spanish here.  And it's ok, and a chance to try to better learn Spanish.  But really, we miss almost all of what is going on besides a high level understanding and I miss being able to go to church and know for sure that I will understand (at least the words being spoken if not always all of the concepts or the speaker's point.)  It is no surprise to me that people who move to the US from other countries often set up their own living areas with cultural things that are normal to them and also worship services in their own language.  I supported that before and am stronger in that belief since living here.
• Holidays  It has been interesting to see what holiday traditions are like here; some holidays (like Thanksgiving and 4th of July) aren't celebrated at all in Peru.  Others holidays have tons of traditions that rely on family and friends and home culture, so we have just done things another way while down here.  It's been fine, but I'm glad it's for a limited time.
• Free babysitting! We are very fortunate in that our entire family lives in our metro area.  My mom came almost every Friday to give us a date night (and give her time with the grandkids) and my in-laws were always willing to help out when we needed some childcare.  We don't have anything like that here, though thankfully we do have Flor and Dave and I get a weekly lunch date.
• The wide availability of just about anything I want to buy. While Amazon.com does ship to Peru, the transit time, import taxes (starting at about 30%) and bans (vitamins are near impossible to get in the country), as well as the cost to ship (usually 100% of the item, especially if heavy) make that a less than desirable option . Fortunately, we have had enough visitors who have been willing to bring us things that it hasn't been a major concern for us.  But it does seem like Christmas whenever someone comes!  I am looking forward to being able to get whatever I want, when I want it, without a large markup.  (I bought some omega-3/6 pills here that were a quality US brand and cost twice as much as the list price in the States.)
• Understanding how things work because it is your culture There are lots and lots of things we just don't get here....and we knew coming in that is how it would be.  It hasn't been horrible and because we haven't been working, we have had more time to just do what needs to be done or take the time to figure it out.  But it will be nice to get back in our home culture and know how so much works without really thinking about it.  (Though it will be a little weird to have a second grader in the states without having gone through kindergarten or first grade there....)
• Garage Sales, Consignment Shops and Thrift Stores  I love buying used things.  That kind of culture doesn't exist here.  There is a kind of stigma against buying used, so there are very few shops that sell used clothing (there is a market that sells overstock from places like Savers and Goodwill but I learned they are technically illegal).  The only garage sales are from expats who are moving on (I've gone to maybe 4 since we came last August and hosted one to help a friend who had extra stuff to sell).  I love going to these, not only because of the deals but also because of the fun.  I would always prefer to get a deal and it's very easy to do that when buying used.
• Seasons (the weather here is fairly consistent all year and it's "perfect" weather- upper 60s to low 70s as a high, very little rain).  But I actually miss the changing of the seasons.  It took a good 6 months for me to get over feeling like I was living in the movie Groundhog Day.  (I will say that we picked a great winter to miss, and your spring hasn't been anything special, either.  But I miss seasons in general.)
• Dishwasher To be fair, Dave washes almost all of the dishes, but I kind of like the convenience of a nice dishwasher.  So, I will be happy to have it back again.
• My Bernina sewing machine  It's a bit ironic in that sewing was for many, many years a difficult thing for me.  I bought a Bernina sewing machine early in my reenacting hobby years and I use it not only to make Civil War era garments but also for mending and little home sewing projects.  I couldn't bring it down here and I have missed having a sewing machine.  I just bought a Singer machine from someone moving away from Peru.  It's ok and works ok, but it's nothing like my Bernina.  (When I start saying things like this, Dave begins to strut around with a swagger and starts saying things like, "Never saw the likes of my Bernina Activa 131.  Whew!  That baby can sew through three, four layers of fabric like it's nobody's bizness.")  But I really do miss it.  Especially when the Singer needle bends from going through four layers of polar fleece.
• LHS (my historical hobby group) I have missed doing my hobby (though I have been doing lots of reading and online research).  And they have had a few super cool activities while we've been down here (like Winter Weekend, our annual ball/winter festival...they went sleigh riding with real horses in an antique sleigh!)  The nice thing is that my clothing will still be in style when we get back.

You have no idea how good this really is.

I saw this here once (for about $7...when it regularly goes on sale in the US for $1.50).
I didn't buy it, but I have never seen it again and I wonder if I should have purchased it for some special food occasion.

Things I thought I might miss from the US but don't:

• Microwave.  We opted not to buy a microwave here (little counter space and we knew we would be cooking more).  We haven't missed it.  We heat up our food on the stove and it's not a big deal.  However, if you throw chips, cheese and mexican food back in the equation....I think that microwave is going to be looking pretty good.
• Driving.  We don't have a car here and walk almost everywhere.  When that doesn't work, our next choice is a combi (local mini-bus transportation) and if we are really desperate, a taxi.  Sometimes it's a pain not to be able to just go where we want, but driving here is expensive and I don't miss not having the maintenance concerns.

Things we started here that I wonder if we'll be able to keep up back home:

• Family Night We've been doing a weekly family night on Fridays.  Usually that means we go out to a restaurant (by the time we get home, it's time for bed for the girls).  We have been alternating between a kid pick and grownup pick for the restaurant.  When we were back home, Dave worked Tues/Wed/Thurs nights and Dave and I had date night on Fridays.  So having a dedicated night for family time was a little harder.  We aren't sure what Dave will be doing when we get home (for the summer he will probably go back to handyman stuff but after that it's a bit up in the air) and so I'm not sure if we will have the whole family there most nights or if we'll try to do something like Sunday afternoons for family time.  But I would like to try to keep it up.
• Spanish Practice I want to be sure that we give the girls the gift of bilingualism.  So I want to be sure that we create opportunities for them to continue learning Spanish as naturally as possible.

2013 Thanksgiving meal- traditions take on new meaning and can be difficult to maintain in a new culture

Things I think I will miss most from Peru: (the shorter list here doesn't mean that we haven't enjoyed our time here; but rather it's easier to know what you miss when it's gone and we really like our life in Minnesota)

• More time to do what I want to do.  Because I don't have a full time job here and because we have someone who comes in three days a week to help with the laundry, general house cleaning, and some cooking and childcare, and because Dave takes on most of the cooking and dishwashing, I have much more free time than I did in the US.  I can't say that I'm making the absolute most of that, but I am doing a lot of things that I had less time for in the States.  Things like online research, blog reading, writing, and leisure reading.
• Leisure reading.  This really deserves a bullet point of its own.  I have read more books just for fun in the past 10 months than I think I read in a few years.  I've always been a big reader, but most of my reading in the years since having kids has been about parenting and not so much reading just for fun.
• Super economical organic (or near organic) veggies  We have a vegetable lady just a couple of blocks from us.  It's fun to be able to buy vegetables from the person who grows them (she grows some and sells some from others).  On average, our vegetables cost around $1-2 per pound, closer to $1.  For reasons I really haven't been able to figure out, they grow a ton of vegetables here but most Peruvians don't eat much fruit or veggies.  Instead, they fill up on meat, potatoes, and rice.  There are so many fruit and vegetable options here and they are very fresh and cheap.  We will still eat a lot of fruit and veg when we get home, but we will be paying more for it and it won't be as economical (even when going to the farmer's market).  
• Sun There is almost always sun here.  Sometimes it is problematic because we are close to the ozone hole, so you have to be careful about how much time you spend directly in the sun.  But we are close enough to the equator that there is around 12-14 hours of daylight during the day (depending on the time of year) and it's almost always sunny.  That is a nice thing to have.  I do miss the long summer days, but it's been nice to not have the short winter days.
• Easy access to practice Spanish  Miss M should be fluent in Spanish by the time we come back (at a 7 year old level).  She has been doing great learning at school.  When we come back, we plan to get another au pair from Colombia to help the girls keep up on their Spanish, but it won't be the same as full immersion.  Dave and I don't have the same immersion experience, but we have opportunities to practice Spanish with native speakers, which you can't easily replace.
• Visitors  We have had the pleasure of hosting a few visitors so far (with a few more to come!)  It's like Christmas when they come because you haven't seen these people face to face in so long.  I will be glad to be closer to everyone (and Skype has been wonderful for keeping in touch) but I wonder if I will miss a little bit of that over the top excitement when seeing everyone becomes more commonplace/accessible.  I also wonder if we will be as proactive about keeping in touch when we live so much closer to everyone.

Just another sunny January afternoon

Things I don't think I will miss from Peru:

• Dust. It's everywhere, given that we live in a desert and there isn't much rain to tamp things down.  This last rainy season was a bust (hardly rained at all) so we didn't get to see if that changed anything.  It's very hard to keep dust out of the house because it's tracked in on feet and the windows don't actually seal tight.  Flor sweeps the house three days a week and there is always a nice small pile of dust.  It also makes wearing white clothing an impossibility (for me, anyway) and it wears out clothing faster.
• Dental issues.  We aren't sure if it's the water (high metal content) or something else, but my teeth and the girls' teeth have taken a hit since coming here.  I've got little holes in my teeth that I'm trying to remineralize through some hippie measures (homemade toothpaste out of bentonite clay and essential oils, oil pulling with coconut oil, and I'll be starting fermented cod liver oil and butter oil when it comes down with someone).  The sensitivity is gone and they don't seem to be getting worse, but I have at least six small holes and I would prefer not to have them filled here.  I never had this kind of trouble in the states.  I'm kind of glad that Miss M hasn't lost any teeth yet so that whatever happens, it's just to her baby teeth.

So, those are my thoughts about being midway through....I have been thinking about what I want to make sure I do in the rest of our time, and I will write about that in my next blog post.